I'm not trying to say that we're somehow pioneering some new way of
life – we're clearly not – and the phrase 'out front, breaking
boundaries' has become so overused that applying it to a person now
seems to imply a level of mundaneness completely separate from the
original intention. But we're doing the do out here... something just
feels right. Something happened by accident when I moved over here
that has made life that much simpler, like the unintended
triple-syllable rhyme at the end of a sentence you said to the
cashier when you were down at Coles buying your groceries. I was
doing absolutely nothing in Adelaide... for the last two and a half
weeks I had a shitty, terrible MENIAL joke of a fucking 'job' selling
electricity to people door-to-door. Not even selling, just convincing
– I was a door to door convincer – trying to persuade people that
their current electricity companies, whatever they were (it was
irrelevant really) were somehow screwing them out of money and that
the company I worked for could save them cash. (we couldn't... AT
ALL) But even when I wasn't taken up with this worthless existence,
when I had free time, I wasn't in the right place within myself to do
anything with it. And before those deathly last two point five weeks
when I had NO job, it was even worse. I couldn't bring myself to do
anything, but coming over here just changed everything.
I don't even know what it was, but from the first day that I was in
this city my life and my mind just felt different; as if a change of
scenery was the permission slip I needed to get out and do something
every day. Sitting in and watching movies and pretending to work no
longer enough.
So now I'm sitting here with a tie wrapped around my head and
fastened in a crude granny-knot with the two ends hanging down over
my left temple like a cheap ponytail-wig and everything in my
universe feels right. Of course I can't leave you here, how could I
that would be like leaving myself. But I just want you all to know
that from where I stand right now, things couldn't get much better.
It reminds me of what Bill Hicks once said, that “evolution didn't
end with us growing thumbs you know... now it's time we started to
evolve ideas.” It's a stretch to tie in, but you know I'm up to
it... I feel like I've gone about as far as I can in the happiness
direction, being happy isn't even a goal any more, it's done. It's
still happening, but I don't have to try any more. I have to find
some new direction to progress in now, and that's where the idea of
evolving ideas comes in... whereas for as long as I can remember
since I emerged from the mist of adolescent emotional entrapment I've
just been trying to find and maintain pockets of happiness in a
chaotic life, I now know that regardless of the good days and the bad
days and the dips and highs and swooping changes in my mood, I don't
have to worry about that any longer. Now it is time to grow in
another direction. In the last two months that search has begun, and
it continues today. I just thought I'd report back for a second, and
maybe rest on my laurels just that tiny bit.
So this is me, calling out. Aidan Jones, for one night at peace with
the world, before the search resumes tomorrow.
Peace, Taco.
No comments:
Post a Comment