A Well Thought Out Budget

This week I've decided that I need to start sticking to a strict budget if I'm ever going to make it out of the god forsaken hell hole that is the Melbourne Connection Travellers' Hostel. I may have been a bit harsh there, this place isn't that bad... in fact, it's actually quite a lovely little corner of Melbourne and I'm quite sure that if I had to be holed up anywhere for a period of months (and let's face it, I do) then this would be my preferred location. Well, top five, easy. The kitchen floors are gritty and brown from dropped food, the bathrooms are wet and slippery, and my room mine is frequently noisy thanks to a snoring New Zealander who sleeps on the bottom bunk of a two-bunk single bed with his Romanian girlfriend and gargles what I can only assume is motor oil in the back of his throat from the hours of 2am to 5am nightly. I could rant at length (far greater length than one particularly long sentence, of this, my people, you can be sure) but I will NOT! (Raised fist. Bright Eyes. Angry mouth. Defiant stance.) because tonight is a night for much softer voices. Tonight, you will come with me, my friends. Tonight, you will listen.

About ten days ago it became clear to me that my passage out of this homely three-storey bomb shelter would not be as simple as my previously half-formed ideas about moving into a rental house had led me to believe. For some reason I only choose to envisage the final moments of any plan when thinking about it in my head – the final handshake, the last signature, a fattish man in a suit exiting briskly – I never consider the weeks or months between me and those thoughts, or how much effort and work will be involved. Ok I do know the reason... it's WAY easier. I don't want work... I want PAYOFF MUTHAFUCKKAAAAA!!!... Sorry, I know... yelling.

But since it's become clear that moving out of here isn't going to be a simple hop-skip-catchalaterbaby I've slowly had to accustom myself to the unwelcome idea that making a budget and sticking to it may be my fastest passage to complete independence. So here it is yeh... behold! budget:

Expenditures

$140 a week for hostel

$40 a week for food

$20 a week for other fun things like drinking or a lady of the evening

Money In

$250 a week from job

$30 (ish) a week from tips

Ok so granted it's not the most comprehensive budget... in fact I'm quite sure that for all the fuss I've made over this piece of accounting the sole calculation here – $280-$200=$80 – takes all of five seconds to do. Whatever... the crux of this meandering story is that I am planning to save $80 a week every week from now on... plus more whatever I end up making from this tour guide noonah once that kicks off... Money is coming in is all I'm trying to say... batten down the hatches, it's MONEY... CAN YOU SEE THAT ON THE HORIZON???? MOOOOONNNEEEEEYYYYY.!.!.

I am seriously fucked... and I'm going to be in this hostel for a long time.

God damn it.

Peace, Taco.